from San Diego

Remember Elena, from our first crew? She sent us a note about a boat in this year's Baja Ha-ha (a migration of American cruisers headed to Mexico for the winter. Of course this has become a race for some, and a party for all. All 200 this year). This boat...was sunk by a whale (see http://sailing-jworld.blogspot.com/2009/10/hey-all-so-it-was-eventful-day.html). Bizarre. I tell myself that the odds are way lower than 1 out of 200...still, there are odds.

So...after reviewing "abandon ship" roles...we enjoyed a great Halloween day sail to Catalina Island. The winds started light and ahead of us, but filled in for a good reach. Note the crew (Ty sporting a "tattoo") doing their calisthenics - don't worry, not required if you come sail with us.

The highlight of the day was catching a 10-12 pound tuna. This fish was perfect - for a boat that has limited freezer space. We enjoyed three good meals from this catch - a couple of sushi, and one of grilled blackened tuna with coconut rice. What is Cody's title if it combines "medical officer" with "fish slayer?" Hmmm.

At Catalina we anchored in Catalina Harbor near the north end, and on the west side. This was a whole new view of the island as compared with the two times i've been there before via the ferry from the mainland to Avalon. Very arid...a preview of much of Baja? I took advantage of this welcome change from tying up in a marina by sleeping in the cockpit that night. The next day we took a hike to a good vantage point,

harvested a few pricky pears from the cactus and nearing sunset started for San Diego 80 miles away.

This had the good potential of a nearly full moon sail except that the wind didn't show up...at all! The seas looked more like a bath tub than an ocean, so we ended up motoring the whole way. All 15+ hours. Damn! The last half of which was in fog, adding "insult to injury." Oh well.

So here we are, enjoying the company of our good friend Jimmie Lunsford (Tyler played a few songs last night at the open mic Jimmie hosts here Monday nights) and prepping for Mexico. Everything from grocery shopping to calling the bank so they won't be surprised by seeing charges to our cards in MX...and adding Quinn (Cody's cousin from Texas) to our crew.

Once again we'll sort out whatever we forget.

In the meantime...i find myself sorting out a confusion of feelings. Here i am doing exactly what i want...and wondering why i am not happy? I try not to blame anything outside of myself (like deeply missing Christine to share this with), but to find understanding within myself. I'm coming to realize that while this certainly is my "dream," i have lived alot of life and am far different from who i was when i dreamed it. Of course! Over many years i have changed. Yes, i appreciate very much my luck to actually manifest this, to actually let this come out from inside of me, this IS my version of going on. But perhaps what i have to learn (if i can unattach from expectations and attend the actual experience) is what room this may create within me for the next part of my path. How next will i change? It helps me tremendously to talk about this with my parents, dear friends, son and crew...rather than bottling it up inside and wondering what's wrong with me...rather than reading too much into it and letting it take on too large dimensions. I could remain silent about it here, but that wouldn't be genuine for me. I truly am exploring new horizons...outside of myself and maybe even moreso within myself. THAT is my good fortune! Maybe not fun or comfy in some ways/levels/times, but lucky. I learned well with Christine that we are here to evolve, and we cannot do so silently or alone. Thank you each for being a part of this.

At least THAT is where i am with THIS at the moment. Tomorrow? On to Ensenada. My phone will quit working, i will access my gmail and blog when i get shoreside internet access, you can reach me via sailmail for time sensitive contact... I assure myself that we will stay in touch.