Days to remember.

Seems the wind either blows hard or not at all lately and not much in between. Rumor has it this may last up to six more weeks.
This morning the overhead (that’s nautical talk for the ceiling) was a beautiful dancing canvas as the sun reflected off the calm and thru the portholes. I grew up in a house on the water that does this too. The hypnosis it creates doesn’t grow old. But i’m planning to save the cost of moorage and shove off today and i have a few things to do before that. One of which is to post here to you. So i finally broke the spell and got up. This morning’s peace stands out and feels needed just now.
The mountainous backdrop to Puerto Escondido is amazing. Add to its drama the shift of the sun’s light and the clouds’ shadows and a photo or words don’t have a chance to do it justice. Yesterday i answered its call and scrambled up its nearest arroyo. It was one of the most beautiful hikes i’ve ever taken, literally felt like i had found a valley in Shangri-la. Plus it feels good to walk further than 44’ in any given direction. I tried to minimize my regret for forgetting the camera and imagined i might return someday. The beauty was multi-sensory: audio, visual, tactile. The exercise, the lush foliage, the stair-stepped waterfalls, some sort of magic and intimate feeling held in the closeness of the valley walls… Really a moment and space to savor.
I wrapped the day up by having a former sailing student and her partner over for dinner – pork chops, salad and they brought a delicious curried rice. I coached Rose years ago when she was a lessee at Elliott Bay Yachting Center, wrote a letter of reference for her to charter in the Caribbean… Back then this adventure was strong in her, and in 2000 she bought her 46’ sloop. She (a test pilot for Boeing) and Jani are retired, and it’s great to see them fulfilling their dream. Coincidence has it that we are cruising these waters at the same time and thus have the fun of “seeing familiar faces in new places.” There’s some kind of camaraderie in it.
It was another day to remember gratefully, poignant on some levels. If i open to it, where does the beauty take me? “How could we not have known that life and love must make heroes of us all? We’ve known all along that at the end dying has to be done. I don’t mean to push it into the foreground, but i think we would be better served if we stopped trying to lay this knowing to sleep, as Hollywood and religion would have us do. That denies the wisdom, harmony and heroism with which we could better live. With which we would count each day, each kiss, each hug more dearly. More intensely. More honestly. We would be proud of our heroism, but the pain and losses leave no room for pride. May we learn to live, fully live, both despite and because of what has come and gone and is coming.” Beauty seems a key.
Okay, i’m headin’ out for a bit. You’ll know when i get back within reach of the internet, in a week or so, maybe less or more. Until then, i wish you days to remember.

"Who am I to blow against the wind?"

Okay, i’m sittin’ here tryin’ to figure out a title for this blog entry. And what to tell you. This is sort of a meditative thing, goin’ inside, feelin’ what’s there and how to articulate it. At the moment this is made harder by quite high winds in Puerto Escondido, where Akimbo and i are tied up to a mooring buoy. Sitting here at the nav table, next to the instruments, a moment ago i watched the wind meter register 47 knots (someone with a meter that records the highest gust it sees woke up to it saying 56). I was impressed again at how wind like that flattens the waves and the air tastes salty.
So, imagine yourself at home during a big storm – for those of you in the northwest, chances are you don’t have to imagine because it’s actually happening. In fact, it’s your storms that have sent this rain (yes, rain – albeit not cold rain) and wind here. You’re concentrating on writing something or reading a good book. The windows shake, you look up, “whew, glad i’m not out there tonight,” you say to yourself. But now imagine your home not just shuddering with each gust but coming off its foundation, that it’s actually on wheels and your lot tilts this way and that with each gust. Your house bumps over to one side of the lot, tips over a few degrees and then starts back toward the other side only to swing back again. The wine bottle you just opened for dinner slides off the kitchen countertop and spills on the floor. You decide to use bowls instead of plates tonight and to spread one of those non-skid rubber mats as a table cloth before putting them out. Whoops, there’s another big gust, the car in the garage is skidding around too. You go to close the garage door, darn, too late, the car flipped over upside down. Well, nothing to do until things calm down, try to focus on that book or whatever you’re writing for now. For life in a house, it’d be more like living in a perpetual earthquake. Can be kinda distracting, huh?
There you have last night and this morning. When at anchor i secure the dinghy on deck at night in case we have to move. On this buoy, and hoping to do laundry the next day, i made the mistake of leaving “sea cow” in the water and found her upside down at about 4:30 this morning. Flipped her back, secured her up close to Akimbo’s stern and went back to bed. Clipped a back-up line on the mooring in case the fist one chafes thru, lashed rigging variously to keep it quiet, kept an eye on things, etc… Hoping to flush the outboard motor with fresh water, change the spark plug, the oil and the gas and start it up…when things calm down…stay tuned.
Enuf of that. Last week i enjoyed Jessica joining me for a week’s cruise. We circumnavigated Isla Carmen, enjoyed three anchorages, beach walks, long talks, music and books. No moon at first, stars OUT, we had good weather, she got away just in time, was here for the right week for weather. She was a sport – i don’t usually like that term, but by it i mean she was flexible, willing and fearless (even grabbed a moth bare handed to throw it back out into the dark!). This despite starting out getting soaked on the dinghy ride out to Akimbo, she carried on gracefully, willing to let go of the illusion of control. Her enthusiasm for the adventure and the scenery was contagious. Gregarious, i should follow her example of making new acquaintances at every opportunity. Once again, i felt the lesson to increase my capacity to appreciate. Thank you, Jessica. Plus visitors give me a reality check – yes this reality is different than most and not for many people, but hopefully it is still somewhat sane and relevant. To what? Come for a sail and give me your opinion/answer.
Good news, we’re catching fish again, after a dry spell. Yum!
P.S. News flash – Sea Cow lives!! Just got done workin’ with a mechanic here and learning how to get the motor running again. Whew!

bloglog

I've been cruising from La Paz to Puerto Escondido - the port for Loreto, which is where i am posting from. And in that time have fallen into this daily entry kind of thing, which i don't really mean to do and shall stop. But please bear with it for now.

Seems i like to start out on the 4th of a month. We left Seattle on Oct. 4. So here i am, “back on the horse” January 4, 2010. Funny the butterflies in my stomach as i get ready to go. That may be a good sign, a sign of respect for what i am doing. Don’t want to get complacent or cocky, and don’t want more “humble pie.” Got off to a good start, beating at 6+ knots with full main and jib, yahoo! Got into a convergence where the wind died, motored thru and finished the day on a few nice tacks in smooth water into Puerto Ballena. Headin’ for Isla San Francisco, San Evaristo, ultimately to Loreto by the 14th. Where Jessica will join me for a week of cruising. Dark, overcast night – apparently a “pineapple express” passin’ by south of us is bringin’ the clouds.

1.5.10: What a beautiful day well spent! Anchored in Ensenada de la Raza on the west side of Espritu Santo…all to myself! Love this spot. Ahhhh. Woke up and sat at the transom to meditate for the sunrise. Then got started "working on the boat in an exotic place" (the definition of "cruising") – forgive me, you non sailors, might want to skip the next paragraph.

Have now created a boom crutch on the aft rail of the dodger. This replaces the broken vang strut for supporting the boom when i drop the mainsail. I only intend it to hold the boom during transitions (i.e. lowering, raising or reefing the main). Most of the time either the sail will support the boom or when the sail is down, the halyard will act as a topping lift. This makes handling the main, without an errant boom, much safer. I’m very excited about it. Can you tell? Next i repositioned the self-tailing arm on each primary winch – been wanting to do this, and it was easy. Now the headsail sheets are easier to cinch into the self-tailing cap from anywhere in the cockpit, and as the sheet feeds out it drops much more conveniently into a corner of the cockpit. Then pulled out the knotmeter paddle wheel and cleaned off the seaweed/barnacles which were stopping it from spinning. And finally for today, fed all the anchor rode out to take the twists out of the chain. This appears to be a chore to do weekly. Somehow the windlass and the chain don’t quite agree with each other and the chain builds up a twist – which can then jam at the windlass when letting the rode out. Dangerous if all the rode is needed for an emergency anchoring, thus the weekly chore. And as long as i was at it, re-marked the chain (had painted sections of links every 30 feet but the paint has mostly worn off – using the wire-tie method for now). “The list” really does never end, even out here as compared to “life in the city.”

My reward for all that work? A dive off the boat and swim. Enjoyed some porpoise passing thru. Then a fruit smoothy. Then kayaking to explore the bay, hiking ashore and scampering up the nearby rocks to take photos of Akimbo from a vantage point above her. Back aboard, prep tagliarini for dinner, with a few glasses of cab sav, a string quartet by Schubert, and finally chocolate and stargazing (they’re back out and brilliant). After which i scoped out the charts and guidebook and planned my next week with lots of stops and stays.

Odd thing – well after the sun had set, quite dark out, the pelicans started diving in earnest quite nearby. I mean, dark: eating dinner in the cockpit I could hardly see the pasta on my plate. And i mean hundreds of dives. I watched with intent (hard to see them in the dark) and didn’t see one pelican tilt his/her head back in the tell tale sign of having caught a fish. It prompted the first words from me today. (splash) “What the bloody hell do you all think you’re doing? (splash) You can’t catch a fish this time of night. (splash) It’s dark out, you idiot! (splash) You’re wasting your energy. (splash) Are you out of your mind? (splash) (splash).” Crazy birds. Now that they’ve come to their senses and gone to sleep, it’s a marvelously peaceful night. Stunning, really. Deeply appreciated.

1.6.10 Morning dew means chamois time! It’s a free wash for the boat. And this morning i found some ballbearings on deck? The slides that attach the mainsail to the mast have bearings. Sure enuf, the bottom slide had nearly departed from the mast track. So this morning, while Akimbo motored out of the anchorage, i made the necessary repair. Then raised the main, unfurled the genoa and enjoyed a long tack and a few short ones to Isla San Francisco. Was here about a month ago with Tyler, Jerry and Cheryl. This time we anchored on the southwest side. I swam ashore for a short stroll, swam back, showered off, enjoyed leftovers for dinner and listened to Yo-yo playing movie themes while the stars “came out” (are stars gay?). What a place i am in! Good night.

1.7.10 Sailed the short distance to San Evaristo in three tacks. Full main and genoa, but the wind built and it was pretty overpowering at the last. Nice anchorage. Paddled ashore and walked the beach front of the town, which boasts a store but wasn’t worth boasting about. Nopolo tomorrow (7 miles north) or maybe stay at anchor. Definitely planning on less sail area if this wind pattern keeps up this week. A boater here with a water temp gauge said the water has dropped from 71 to 68 in two weeks. “Refreshing.”

1.8.10 A day at anchor. “Amazing the damn thing floats.” Said to me by a boatbuilder in Marblehead in 1971 as the boat he built was launched. Today seemed like that. I kicked on the generator to charge things up while i went for a swim (with speargun), didn’t want to listen to it but wanted to charge up the batts and cool the fridge. But when i got back i saw the generator had quit – my mistake, forgot to switch the fuel manifold to it. Opened up the generator shield in case i would have to bleed its fuel system…and noticed water in the bottom of its box? Hmmm. That can’t be good. Sure enuf, the raw water pump was leaking, splashing salt water about, causing corossion. Luckily i had bought the (expensive) spare parts kit for the generator and it included a new raw water pump. So, that done, i went to grab the rag that i use to mop up the bilge, so i could mop out the generator box…and noticed the bilge water. Switched on the bilge pump, which ran but didn’t appear to pump? Worked on that next, got it going, but still not satisfied with it. Sometimes i turn a light on that has always come on, and it doesn’t. Turn it off. Turn it on, and it does. Corrosion to chase down somewhere in its system. I never know if something is going to work or not – and most of it NEEDS to work. Sometimes i let it frustrate me, sometimes i take it in stride. “Duct tape, bubble gum and string.” Amazing the damn thing floats.

1.9.10 Dark day in my journal. Wonder why. Everything felt hollow, empty. What changed? Tried putting chants on the stereo this morning.

Triple reefed the main and strung the jib at anchor to prep for beating north to Puerto los Gatos. Had a strike on the fishing line, saw a good size fish jump, by the time i started reeling in it was gone. Looked at the lure and found the hook bent. Put on a bigger lure, but no bites. Pulled the line in at the end of the day and found i had forgot to put a hook on it. Not sure if i’m trying to catch fish or entertain them. Hope they enjoyed it. Or am i here to weed out the species by catching the dumb ones, or to protect the little ones?...

I fell for the mid-day wind drop again. Had switched to full main and genoa, and even had to roll up the genoa and motor for an hour thru the calm. Then the wind came back. Restrung the jib but refused to reef the main and was overpowered by the end of the day again, heeled hard over and lots of spray. Came charging into the anchorage near sunset, hard to see past the reflection on the water, watching the depth grow shallower, rounded up and dropped everything, not my usual graceful self. Per the guidebook we were where i wanted to be (between the reefs guarding the entrance), per the electronic charts i had clipped the south end of an island. An island that doesn’t exist, so we were okay. Dropped the anchor in 15’ and put the sails properly away. Akimbo is covered in salt.



1.10.10 Manuel showed up in his panga. Had heard to not trust him. Chatted for a while, he showed me some muslin and pillows his wife had embroidered. I admired them but didn’t buy any. After he left i took my ring off for the first time i can remember – felt conscious of flashing gold past people who have so little. Wrestled a few things on the boat into submission (failed at the usb-serial adapter to the modem that hooks into the ssb radio – glad i’ve asked Jessica to bring a new one with her), paddled ashore and explored the sensuous sandstone formations. Nice beach. Puerto los Gatos? Saw no cats.


1.11.10 A better day. Don’t know why or how. But held better focus. Felt more centered. Which was good what with a few reefs to navigate around. Nice upwind sail on full main and jib to Bahia Agua Verde – guessing it is the place that the restaurant in Seattle takes its name from? Great little anchorage. Nicely situated village in front of a valley into the mountains and with a beach and bay. Found a small grocery and bought a few staples, passed on the only restaurant. Some of the stucco houses have fewer square feet in them than Akimbo has. Took a photo of the school (saw no kids), police department and basketball/soccer court – all in one photo. Looking around it looks like the town has room to grow…but i doubt that it ever will. Still, this is probably how every city started.

happy new year

Thank you Seattle dears
for this loving visit i return from
and the memory of it i return to.
It will nourish me when i need it.
So i'm back aboard now,
to go dance on the horizon's edge
between reality and unreality.
On the outside i am exploring the Sea of Cortez,
on the inside i am exploring being alone.
Sensing a deep/simple/bedrock shift nearby
that i can't know and have to trust.
It may look like i'm trying to escape,
when it feels more like i am trying to integrate.
Past, present and future.
To evolve.
As Gary quoted,
"if it's not a mystery...
it's a misunderstanding."
I like that.
And "if it's not service, it's a waste of time."
But black and white statements, themselves,
serve only a little to illumine so much gray.
Am i "serving" from out here? Isolated?
A little maybe, but there's much more to offer.
I expect to be cruising for the next week or two,
finding a pace.
So until my next missive here...
You are in my heart, every beat,
lucky jon