A long one...but it's been a while.

2/15-16/10 Santa Rosalia to Bahia San Francisquito – actually just south at Bahia Santa Teresa because it offers better shelter from the north wind. 77 upwind miles in 21 hours, mostly under double reefed main and solant jib. Good sail, clear skies, no moon. Went pretty smoothly, stayed alert all night, only saw one other boat out there, got some naps in underway. Should sleep well at anchor tonight.
Stayed at anchor a day, to nap, paddle ashore, beach comb, pour over charts and books and plan itineraries.
Next, Isla Partida and a few days north and later Isla Ventana. Finally a couple of anchorages i didn’t like. Really, how bored will you get reading this like it’s a sales pitch? These are a couple of barren islands. Going ashore and hiking was bleak and short lived. While on one of them, the wind turned around. Getting in the kayak, feeling the pressure on the paddle, i realized that if the paddle broke i would be hard pressed to get back to Akimbo. Or if the anchor would drag, i wouldn’t have any margin for error getting out of there. My vulnerability came from the background to the foreground sharply. Threaten someone, and it takes all the fun out of the moment. I let these places desolate my spirits. The “crack in my armor” started letting doubts return and much broader questions echo inside me. Loneliness and homesickness came for a visit.




In between these places, Ensenada el Pescador proved to be good shelter when an elefante (a local gusty katabatic wind) blew from 2 to 4 a.m.. On shore is an abandoned beach resort, strangely so, for all its details. There is a very big piece of whalebone there. What i enjoyed most were the three largest palapas i have ever seen. One with hardwood floors still well finished despite being virtually outdoors. The biggest is a huge double. Masterworks, their posts are made from a type of tree that grows several trunks intertwined…like lovers’ limbs. What kind of tree does this? Beautiful.





THE day to remember was Feb 21 – this was a day of weaving thru the islands in the Bay of LA, and getting curious about the coves on the western shore of Canal de Ballenas. These coves are not in any of the guidebooks and their details aren’t charted, but they look like they deserve to be. I thought about motoring slowly in to them. About the time i shook the reefs out of the main the wind came up, (i shouted epithets at the sky)…and up and up. All of a sudden we were hurtling along at 10.5 knots over the ground with full main and jib! The speed was exhilarating, but we were way over canvassed. Then again the north end of Isla Angel de la Guarda (Guardian Angel Island) wasn’t lookin’ so far away after all. I had given it up as a goal because of the weather forecast. But now the wind was up, and the sun and cloud shadows playin’ on the Angel were too beautiful to resist. Photos can’t do it justice. It was like sailing in the Grand Canyon half full of water. End result, i DID reduce sail, we made 40 miles without tryin’ and were rewarded with a pristine anchorage: Puerto Refugio.
En route, we sailed by Roca Vela (Sail Rock) – named for its shape and the guano turning it white. This pinnacle rises 100’ out of water 150’ deep. Gives a sailor the shivers. Imagine feeling safe in 250’ of water, only to find your boat impaled on a rock like this 50 yards later. We had some reefs to navigate around and the charts admit there are some uncharted. The other photo is of a crystal shaped rock that sits in about 100’ of water.

I stuck our neck out, THIS was remote, beautiful wilderness, all to ourselves. Angel de la Guarda being the last big island north in the Sea, we were 150 miles from the Colorado River, 450 miles from Cabo San Lucas. This was it. As far north as we were going. The dunes and beach were not white but a fine grained volcanic mauve sand. It’s a great destination that offers lots to explore. I wished i were there when the water is warmer, and that a storm wasn’t due to arrive in two days. Could i find a safe corner to tuck into?


Maybe i went to fear too easily. As the next day wore on, half motoring and half sailing back, i kept wishing i had stayed. Maybe that’s only because i had left. All the extra wind and big seas could have made short work of making the 40 nm to the shelter of Puerto Don Juan. But my frame of mind was still haunting me and i made the safer choice. The next day, when the wind came on to blow, i appreciated how well the anchor held. I was glad i was not out there in it.
The day at anchor gave my tho’ts time to catch up with my feelings. It feels like i am “doing” this adventure more than “being” in it. I appreciate that “what” i am getting to do is marvelous, but i’ve let “how” i am doing it become unconscious. I believe that “how” we do anything is almost more important than “what” we do. I.E. Writing above "crack in my armor?” Why am i feeling armored? Sailing long term single handed is a challenge. I’m amazed at the details i MUST take care of. Decisions are fewer but more important to me out here. One of them could so easily go wrong and eclipse all the ones that have gone right. It can be fierce. Like the desert i am sailing thru. The cactus may “have their arms up in surrender” but the plants here have weaponry! There are bones on every beach. When i listen, i hear myself yelling “fuck you” at the sky when there’s another wind shift against me. I’m not in some heroic Hollywood pose and “being one with the sea”…that’s not this reality at all. Then there’s “you son of a bitch” at some piece of equipment that breaks down, doesn’t cooperate or pinches my finger. So anger is coming out, and what more inexhaustible foe to aim it at than the sea? But do i really want to rush to certain defeat? I’ve often tho’t of sailing as a dialog with one's environment, not a battle. This has become a monolog and i’m the one who has forgotten his lines. Rather than fight this experience, if i truly meet it, hopefully i or some part of me will be met. How can i take my cue from Guardian Angel Island as my geographic turning point, and turn something around inside myself?

2/25 Animas Slot – cozy anchorage – look at the picture. Some wraparound swell gets in, but very nice. Last night’s anchorage was Isla Estanque at the south end of Isla Angel de la Guarda. The boulder strewn beach invited no good place to land the kayak, but it was better shelter and a better night’s sleep.
2/27 Bahia San Francisquito. I made the conscious effort to stay at anchor here today. It seems hard to make myself sit still. Enjoyed a hike up a long arroyo, saw a few jack rabbits, lots of coyote paw prints, baked bread. And caught up with more feelings. “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” When i was 29 my brother died. I don’t know where the genius came from in me, but i knew i wanted to commit to what had been denied him, commit to what he had wanted. Which was simply to live. To appreciate another breath. I knew that to do that, i couldn’t do it alone. I was lucky, so lucky, that Christine was my closest friend at the time and willing to join me. So, when i’m 54 and she died…i can find no equal and opposite reaction. …Now my luck is that i am a parent. My son’s presence, his particular presence, who he is is the “crack in the armor” that is my grief. (i'm gonna have to come back to the tho't of "grief as armor"). With him i vow to unconditionally love. This love reopens my heart to living. From there i feel a chain reaction that reopens me to my community of friends and family. And ultimately has to open me to dying. To letting go of the people i love. Which i can’t seem to do. I’m sorry i’m such a whiner. I’ve never tended toward contentment, satisfaction or peace. I haven’t taken a vow of unconditional… appreciation. Which is what this journey will require. Life goes on the same either way, whether i agree to its terms or not. It won’t agree to mine. Okay, i’m angry. I have no equal and opposite reaction. I go on. Looking for a way to be okay with the fact that she’s gone. I can’t think my way thru it. (Curious that all the different paths to consciousness require us to not think. What is consciousness, presence, availability to the moment?) I can’t find words up to this task… “Like tryin’ to dance about architecture...” But i seem to have to attempt it.
2/28 40nm to Bahia Monumento, Isla Tiburon. Not allowed ashore here without a Seri Indian guide. Mostly calm, motoring and sunny. First time to use the genoa instead of the jib since i don’t know when, so the wind was lighter. Really impressive currents coming out of Canal de Ballenas. Powerful. And true to the canal’s name 20(?) whales went by 200 yards off the stbd beam, headed south while we were headed NE. Saw 5 spouts and 2 flukes at the same moment. Later, porpoise visited. What fun to see them again, it’s been a while. The stbd lazy jack jammed. Tho’t i’d have to go up the mast to fix it but figured out a way to free it with lines and halyards. Whew! Very full moon reflecting on the water. Beautiful. Long day tomorrow sets up an easy rendezvous w/Bud and Rhoda. Will start at 4 a.m.
3/1 Yesterday we sailed in water over 5000’ deep…today we’re in 50-70’ most of the day, just off the Sonoran coast of mainland Mexico. But then yesterday was February and today is March. And yesterday the water temp got down to 64 and today it’s up to 70 – the fish should start bitin’ again soon, i hope. To be remarked upon, today went very smoothly. 62 miles in 13 hours. No dramas. No uncooperative equipment. My sail changes were in synch with the wind changes (first time to put the drifter up in a long time). “Friday night i’m goin’ nowhere and all the lights are changin’ green to red…Saturday i’m runnin’ wild and all the lights are changin’ red to green…” (David Gray). Today was the “red to green.” Even saw two porpoise synchronize their jump clean out of the water! Precision anchored in tiny Ensenada Julio Villa. Thank you!
Next morning i hiked to a distant cave that caught my eye. Hoping to find Machu Pichu, petroglyphs or a guru to answer my question. Photos of the surrounding fantastic landscape - keyhole in a distant ridge, the cave, a bird's nest, the anchorage...

3/2 Bahia San Pedro. First time i’ve shared an anchorage since Ensenada el Pescador. Four of us here tonight. And a fishermen’s camp ashore. I must be getting back to civilization. I respond by appreciating the undimmed starlit sky all that much more. The next morning i went exploring the nearby cliffs in the kayak, including a sea cave. If the rock here weren't so decrepit, there would be a rock climbing guide for climbs starting out of a dinghy (i've had the same thought near Nanaimo - and the rock there is solid).
I have discovered the pressure cooker! A cup of unsoaked beans, a cup of rice, 5 cups of water and 20-25 minutes of pressure cooking. Add the fixin's and voila!
And great blue herons? I used to think they’re Paleozoic squawking when they launch themselves is their way to voice their objection to being disturbed. But now i think it’s just hard for them to launch. They have to croak and groan about it. Kinda like our own “ugh,” or “oof.”
3/3 San Carlos. Hadn’t really planned to come this far. Several options went by, only one small one appealed to me. But this way i have the option to go for a canyon hike and to make it to Guaymas if San Carlos doesn’t appeal either… Which it doesn’t, doesn’t feel like Mexico (but then i’ve been in the outback), too many gringos and they don’t wave back to me. Glad to find that out soon enuf to change our rendezvous.